How To: Date A Scorpio

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So you think you’ve found that special guy or girl, done your obligatory research (facebook stalking) and found out that their birthday lies somewhere between October 23rd and November 21st? Then you REALLY need to read this. And if you’re already in a relationship with them? Read on, you’ll laugh at how much this will still apply.

First things first: I am speaking as a Scorpio myself, and there is one thing we want everyone to know: We want to know everything about you, (and we will) and you will know just enough about us to keep the relationship going. I won’t delve too much into the horoscope definitions that are given to scorpios; I will use experience both from my personality and that of many scorpio friends I have and have dated.

First, we want to know everything about you. No detail is too minute, nothing is trivial. We will spend hours, days, months, and even years digging up information on you. It rarely ever ends for us: if it does, we are either convinced you are our soul-mate or we found something we didn’t like and relationship is dead. And if we are convinced that you are THE one? We’ll still scrutinize any new information we can get our hands on. Don’t be scared, and certainly don’t be insulted: we’re just natural investigators, and good investigators are never quick to trust ANYONE.

With that in mind, don’t try to hide anything from us. We will find out. I repeat, we WILL FIND OUT. So your options are either to tell us or let us find out. If you try to hide it, it will make us suspicious. You don’t want this. We are suspicious by nature, so when you give us a reason to be, the long winding road to gaining our trust gets a LOT longer. One of our mottos is that someone who has nothing to hide, doesn’t. But on that same token, we are very understanding and know how to take things in context. Just because there are pictures of you having drunk sex with a lawn gnome doesn’t mean we think less of you. We understand, even if you don’t yet.

We are not big talkers. If we are being really talkative, that means we are either drunk, or we are trying to get you to open up to us. We are much better at listening and making conversation through adding to it, not by creating it. We’ll ask questions and share our own experience to get you to talk, but anything more should not be expected at first. We don’t open up quickly. At all. With that, don’t ask us pointed or invasive questions. It will turn us off, make us build our walls higher, and will ensure you get aggressive questions in return. So unless you want us asking very pointed questions about that lawn gnome, don’t get too particular with your line of questioning. Best bet is to keep it playful and leading. We’re curious investigators first, so appeal to it: tease us with mystery, but keep it playful. Look at it as a cat and mouse game: we’re a cat in mouse clothing, so treat us as a mouse 🙂

We like details! Whether its information or planning, we love the small things. Keep that in mind, because we will be looking at the small things during dates and during the relationship. That’s not ominous, nor is it a bad thing. You’re not under the microscope, but we are checking you out. And we are also checking out everyone who is checking you out. And everyone YOU are checking out. We tend to be pretty jealous people. Not fight the other person for you jealous, but key your car jealous. So once again, don’t rouse our suspicions, and everything will be ok!

What is important to us is VERY important to us, and what isn’t REALLY isn’t. Basically, if we made the effort to tell you or show you (and trust me it WAS AN EFFORT) how important something is to us, you would do very well to pay attention. If we say something really isn’t important to us then it may as well be dead to us. A general rule of thumb is that we either love something or hate it. We are either wild about it or despise it. That goes for people, things, places and actions.

Lastly, we are obsessive. Whatever gets our attention keeps our attention. If you have our attention, and it’s the good kind, then you’re halfway there. Just be yourself, because we are already expecting you to try to “impress” us. The true way to impress us is to not try to. Don’t give us empty compliments;  we already know what we are and aren’t, and we always look for the motive behind actions, especially compliments. So instead of dishing out the obligatory “you look nice” comments, try a genuine “I like that dress/shirt/outfit on you” It’ll mean a lot more, and you’ll get more points with sincerity than fake-ness. If it’s not sincere, don’t insult us by saying it because that’s exactly how we’ll take it.

That’s us in a small nutshell; if there’s anything I’m missing or forgot, (and I can already think of 4 things) comment and let me know! I’ll add and update as I remember, and give credit to those who bring it up. Good luck on your adventure!

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