How To: Tell If Someone Is Attracted To You

1NaDARa

Anyone over the age of 6 has experienced it: Laying eyes on someone that JUST HAS TO BE their soul-mate. You look at them and feel that immediate pang of attraction. Your heart skips a beat, your feet feel lighter, you quickly glance away so no-one sees you staring at them. Then your glance darts right back to them.

You decide to grow a backbone and walk over and maybe start a conversation. They look at you.. You play it coy and smile.. Surely, you two are meant to be, and he/she has a facebook that you can immediately begin to stalk, right?!?!? RIGHT?!?! Well here’s how to tell if that 30 second encounter has legitimacy to it..

  1. Pay close attention to their eyes: I have years of experience and training in reading body language and “Micro Expressions”, and I can say from experience that the eyes and the area around the eyes truly are the windows to the soul. Pay close attention to what they look at when you two make contact, and to how long they look at it. Do their eyes move all over your face, from feature to feature? Do they look at your lips? Does it seem as if their eyes opened up a little wider when they first looked at you? These are all signs of potential romantic interest. I say potential because every little clue must be taken in context of the situation/circumstances. What does that mean? If this person in question is a waiter, then giving you direct eye contact or gazing into your eyes may just be them being a good and receptive waiter. When reading body language you can’t go off of one piece of information to make any conclusion. That’s a surefire way to get it wrong. People look at things that interest  them or that they desire. We do it by habit. So if the object of your heart doesn’t give you any eye contact in return, or if their eyes are darting around at everything but you, then this is a sign that they don’t feel the sparks. But once again, take it in context. Are they in a hurry? Working? Distressed? Take in the environment you two are in to help you gauge the strength of  your observations.
  2. Look at their body: You may have already given them “elevator eyes” but this time, pay attention to how their body is oriented and to whom or what it is oriented towards. If upon walking towards them or up to them, they immediately face you, showing you their face and body full frontal and not at an angle, then this is a good sign. If they are angled away from you, or they shift to show you their side, then they have interest in something else right now. Even more true if they never turned in your direction at all. Look at their feet as well: what are they pointed towards? Any expert will tell you that our feet naturally and unconsciously forecast our intentions. If they turn to point at you, then this is good. If they turn to point at the door, then that’s where they’re heading. Women have a particularly habitual way of doing this, oftentimes while standing, and using their lead foot. Gay men tend to as well. Also, how open is their body. By this I mean, do they have an open inviting look to their body? Or is it closed off or restricted? We tend to show open body language like tilting the chin and/or face, showing the wrists, and spreading legs and/or arms when we are comfortable with the person we are talking to or interested in. We do the opposite with people we do not like or feel threatened by: our posture becomes rigid, our bodies stiff, we bring limbs closer to our bodies, and and we literally close our bodies.
  3. How close are they to you?: We naturally move closer to people we are attracted to. Some people out of nervous habit may not, but if given the opportunity by your proximity, they will at the very least stick around. They may even follow you, if only for a minute or two. When you walked over to the boy/girl of your dreams, did they move themselves closer to you? Did they rearrange themselves to maybe get a better look? It is also of note that in social settings, people who are shy (instead of moving closer to you) will draw attention to themselves to make you look at them. They may suddenly yell a friend’s name, they may raise their voice if they are in conversation with someone, they may drop something. Once again, take the signs in context of the environment. If you approach them and start conversation, do they move in closer? Very good, if they do. Now here’s a big indicator: are they mimicking you? Yes, literally. Our bodies naturally mimic the person we are speaking to when we are attracted to them, or in the very least comfortable with them. Opposite is true with people we don’t like.
  4. Preening: When we come into contact with someone we find attractive, or someone we want to impress, we do what is known as preening. We fix our hair, brush off our shirt (especially men), fix our clothes, and in general make ourselves look the very best we can. So if you spark a conversation by asking a question first, like “Do you know what the weather is supposed to do today?” pay attention to anything they are doing to make themselves look better.

That’s the basics of it. You’ll find out that the more you consciously pay attention to people’s body language, the more it will become second nature to you. The vast majority of our communication is done non-verbally, aka, body language. Better yet, the more you do it, the more accurate you will get, and the quicker you will be able to read people. Some of the clues I’ve outlined carry more “weight” than others, but they must still be taken in context of the environment. Don’t thin-slice your subject; remember that you’re looking at a big picture, not a small window. A good way of keeping track is to add 10 points to every positive body language read or “tell” that you got and subtract 10 for the opposite. Reach 100, and you’re good to go. With that, here are some tips and tricks.

Tips And Tricks:

  • Want a quick gauge to see if they mimic you? Get in a conversation with them and consciously cross your arms. Or if their arms are already crossed, put your hand on your hip. Cross your legs if seated. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you consciously put your limb in a natural position and keep it there for at least a minute. Did they just do the same thing? Good. Now double check and change it again. What do they do? If they don’t change with you, take half the points away for the 10 you gave for the first time. Do it a 3rd if you have time. It’s fun to watch other people do this as well from a distance!
  • If you are talking to them, move your face just a little closer. Not much, though; think as if you are trying to hear what they are saying. Do they move in as well?(+10) Do they stay put?(+0) Do they move back?(-10) Also do this with your proximity to them: take a step closer, but don’t invade their personal space. Do they step closer? (+10) Stay put? (+0) Or step back? (-10)
  • If someone likes you, and they are confident or not shy, they may touch you. If they do, even something as subtle as a pat on the arm, then they are at least comfortable with you. We don’t touch people we don’t like, period. Want to test the waters? Touch them on the back of the arm, or touch their forearm as if to say “hey”. See how they react. If in the course of your encounter, they touch you back, then add 10 points. If they don’t return it, don’t add any. If they angle their body away from you or put distance between you afterwards, or exhibit any closed body language after the touch, subtract 10.
  • This is one of my personal favorites to look for: Are there any obstacles or objects between you two? Do they move them out of the way? Did they put them there? This can be as small as playing with a salt shaker while on a date, and keeping it in directly in front of them, and between you. Or better, holding something like a notebook in front of their chest in crossed arms. The point is that they are placing a barrier, no matter how small, between you and them. This doesn’t mean disaster, after all, they may be insecure, or have a lot on their mind, but it is definitely something that we all do unconsciously, and is therefore very universal (yet subtle). Do they clear obstacles we you two are communicating? Move things out of the way? Clear a path to you? Good!
  • Finally, here’s a flirty yet shy way to test the waters, which I find particularly fun: Look at them and wait for them to look at you. When they do, immediately look down, wait a second, then look back at them. Are they still looking at you? Good. Now smile and look away again, maybe to the side, and keep your gaze off of them for 3 seconds. Now look back at them. Are they still looking at you? If they aren’t, keep looking at them and see how long it takes for them to look back. Less than 3 seconds? Good. Now smile again, and look away for at least a minute. During this entire exchange, you should be checking them out for signals. check out their body language. Have they moved closer to you, even for something stupid like to fake going to a water fountain? Gooood..

I will add to this article as I think of more, and as always feel free to ask about anything. Happy hunting!

37 comments

  1. Santina · August 13, 2013

    Thanks for posting this so much. It really helped a lot.

  2. Teresa m. · August 19, 2014

    This guy told me last week that he didnt want to speak to me. So I was like cool and I left him alone. Since then he has been trying to get my attention, coming near me as much as he can. I took his comment at face value. He is constantly looking at me when he thinks I dont know that he is. What is going on here?

    • Squirrel&Moose · August 20, 2014

      First, I’d like to say sorry for the delay; I’ve been covering the events in Ferguson, MO. (It’s a mess.)

      So, my immediate impression is that he definitely likes you. Context is everything, so some more information would be very useful: what were the circumstances when he told you he didn’t want to speak to you? Was it in a joking manner? Was he around friends, in a work environment?

      A lot of times, people (females AND males) will sometimes play hard to get initially, so that they can get a “read” on your reaction; to test the waters so to speak. As a general rule of thumb though, we do not pay attention (nor try to attract attention) from people we do not have interest in. So I would say his actions trump his comment. How long have you known each other?

  3. Danica · October 6, 2014

    hi. So there’s this guy i’ve secretly liked for just over a year now, and i’ve been going on sites like these (this is the best so far) about finding out if someone likes you, and i’ve been realising that SOME of the things he does seems like he’s trying to ‘test the waters’ with me. Anyway what i wanted to ask is if it’s possible that he wants to know if i like him without asking me? Seeing that unfortunately he is taken by someone else, i dont think that he likes me. But are there any signs i can look out for to know if he does wanna know if i like him? Maybe he wants to know just for fun… Reply when you can asap… Thanks, btw loved this post!🙂

    • Squirrel&Moose · October 8, 2014

      Thanks! I need to create more articles like this one, and that will come soon. But that aside, here’s what I think so far:

      If you have enough of a reason to ask yourself if he is “testing the waters”, then he probably is. Granted, he IS in a relationship, and for a lot of people that means there are boundaries that they will not cross; if for no other reason than the fact that they don’t want the “cheater” label/don’t want THAT to be the reason their current relationship ends. If it were me, I would set up a situation where you have some time with him, just the two of you. It would have to be something innocuous and not indicative or romantic in the slightest, so that he feel cornered. Perfect time frame would be 10 or 15 minutes. I know it sounds manipulative, but if there is any “spark” or interest there, it will show. Perfect sign if he is interested in you is if he prolongs any kind of contact or time around you unnecessarily. Like if something should only take 30 minutes to do/accomplish, and he finds any excuse to make it 45 minutes or an hour. Another good way of seeing where he is/how he feels is to ask him for help with something innocuous and not highly technical (unless that’s his job). One thing as a guy, (and I think most guys will agree with me on this one) is that we like to be the hero; if he lights up when you ask to help you put windshield wiper fluid in your car, or seems enthusiastic, then great! If he sends you to someone else, or says he’s not good with cars (or whatever you asked for help with) then he probably doesn’t want anything more than friendship. When someone we like asks us for help, we help. If we don’t know how, we figure out how. A big sign is if he contacts you when his S.O. isn’t around. That’s typically a BIG (yet subtle) sign that someone who is already committed is interested in someone else. Another good sign is if he talks about his current relationship as if it is on the rocks. Simple gripes and complaints aren’t that indicative, (hell, spend enough time with anyone and you’ll have a gripe at some point) but if he eludes to being unhappy or that the relationship isn’t doing well, especially to YOU, then that is one sign that he may be making an opening for you. This is one of those type of things that you have to calculate with a cumulative total of “signs” and not just one or two.

      Being an investigator has taught me that when reading people, context is everything, and on the same token, people very rarely do things for no reason. Hope this helps, and feel free to ask more if you need more help!

  4. Danica · October 10, 2014

    thanks so much !!! You helped alot, i was also thinking that he set boundries and limits as to how far he’ll “test the waters”, like he wont touch me but a few times he has been in my personal space for no reason (we weren’t in a crowed place or something like that)… Thanks so much again, i appreciate it!!!🙂🙂🙂

  5. RST · October 19, 2014

    Thank you so much for this insightful article.
    There’s this guy who goes to the same spot I go to everyday after work for a year and a half now and we had eye contact for this whole period until recently I heard he got engaged.Thought he’d just stop looking but no he keeps staring he even sometimes turn in his chair to see if I’m there or looking. He never tried approaching me though and I even tried to approach him through facebook with a friend request but cancelled it the same day at night.
    I can not just let it go and I have absolutely no idea why he does this or why he keeps looking at me for that long. He likes to sit facing me all the time too.
    any advice would be great🙂
    thanks

    • Jordan! · October 21, 2014

      Thank you! I appreciate the comment! So to your question:

      Well, with respect to his new engagement, I would still approach him if you’re interested. I wouldn’t elude to the fact that you know he may or may not be engaged, but I would instead approach it as making a new friend first. With all of the eye contact, I do think there may be mutual interest (based on that) but I would definitely be careful not to encroach. If he is in fact engaged, you never know how long he may have known his fiancee, and you definitely don’t want to upset something like that.

      My advice is to raise your glass to him the next time you see him, or offer some form of acknowledgement. It works as a small ice breaker, and his reaction (which should be positive) should give you a little bit of a foot in the door to begin a conversation; “We must get off of work at the same time, what do you do for a living?”

      Ultimately, you only live once, and what’s the worst that could happen? At the least, you could make an awesome friend!

  6. celestialblight · October 27, 2014

    I’ve noticed a few girls looking at me in school, some of their body language is confusing. They look directly at me and gaze, but I avoid contact, mostly because i’m a quiet and non social person. I tend to get loud around friends yet when im alone i stay ereasonably quiet. Thats when they begin to look and start moving my way, but they keep their distance, everyday, they just take glances over and it is kinda weird. xD

    • Jordan! · October 29, 2014

      Haha, yeah, you’re dealing with the age range whereas your classmates are figuring things like non-verbal communication (and themselves) out, and that always makes things easy in some ways, and harder in others. The good news is, your age range typically hasn’t mastered the art of hiding/manipulating their own body language, (and thus depend more on social cues to navigate social settings) and that makes reading them easier. The awkward stage of being REALLY self-conscious, but not quite self-aware enough to know their body language betrays them. The bad news is that your age range generally relies on social cues to navigate social settings, haha. That means that social interactions are very reliant on a person’s perceived social status/stock, basically, what other people “think” of another.

      You’re at a fun age to be! Have fun with it; give them the “Hot/cold” treatment. One day, respond with open/dominant body language, and the next show them no attention whatsoever. See what effect it has on them😉 (I’m betting it will make them very curious about you, maybe a couple of them will initiate conversation)

  7. light · November 5, 2014

    thx it helps a lot

  8. Jack · November 16, 2014

    I’m a guy and I think this guy likes me but I can’t tell. I like him to but anyways. We always stare at each other all the time and we have locked in each other eyes before but then turn away. We know each other and we have had many conversations before but that’s it. I really like this guy and I think he likes me to but I don’t know what to do please help me. 😦

    • Jordan! · January 12, 2015

      Sorry for the delay, my friend! Based off of what you’ve told me, I really don’t have enough information to help you out; I don’t want to give you an impression or assumption so vague. How often do you two talk? Do you two ever talk about personal things or broach the topic? Where do these interactions happen? Has there ever been any form of touch? Reading body language is one of those kinds of things were context means A LOT, and no single action can be taken by itself to mean much. If you get this in time, reply with a little more detail🙂

  9. Alicia · November 18, 2014

    great article!
    so i’ve met this guy online, he was giving me mixed signs but i was still very eager to meet him in person. so we went out, the date was amazing. we both had a lot of fun, we talked and laughed, and walked around. he gave me all the signs, like moving closer to me while we were sitting on the bench, staring directly into my eyes for long, or holding the eye contact while talking to me, once i noticed how he raised his eyebrows really quick when he saw me. he moved the objects that were between us away and tried to move closer, gave me his jacket. and he was extremely open with me, telling me about his dreams, family, friends, and things like that. he was also teasing me all the time, but i guess it also just his personality. so at the end of the night he told me he really enjoyed the night and had a lot of fun, and then had the triangle gaze (from eye-to-eye-to-lips), so i figured we both wanted the same things and we kissed but not long. he didn’t seem too much into it, so then i left.
    second day he texted me that he had a great night, but he doesn’t feel like its gonna happen again, that he just didn’t feel it. we talked a bit about it, and he told me that lately he hasn’t been much into relationships or anything like that, being focused on other things. and when i asked if he doesn’t like me that way he said i don’t know.
    it was kind of a shocker since i really felt like we clicked amazingly that night and because of all of the signs he gave me.
    what do you think about that?

    • Jordan! · January 12, 2015

      First off, I’m sorry things ended like that for you, and for the delay in my response! Well, knowing what I know about human behavior, I don’t think it is you; meaning, I don’t think you did anything wrong or that the second date is a result of anything you did. If it was a matter of you, I don’t think he would’ve been so vocal about how good the date went, especially doing so unprompted. But then again, I don’t know him as well as you would. The first thing that came to my mind while reading your situation is that he may not have been ready to continue dating in general because he may have some unfinished business, (an ex, maybe?) that is still in the picture, or something in the background going on that made him stop. I get the impression that he didn’t want to hurt you, not because he’s not into you, but because of other circumstances. I’m curious as to whether you ever learned more about it or what happened to him since? Anyway, I hope that helps!

  10. MM · December 15, 2014

    Hi I really like this article. It is very insight.
    However, it is really hard to tell sometimes in the real life because each person has his/her own way to approach or to express if s/he is interested in someone.
    I work with this guy, he is in his thirty. He is a very nice and considerate person. He is different than other co-workers that he talks to me, asks me questions about myself, listens, pays attention to what I said and he also remembers what I told him. Sometimes when he was working on his stuff, and I went around stocking things, or talking to the house keeping guy, he would notice what I was doing and asked me what I was talking to the house keeping guy. When talking to me, he would lean in and listen to me patiently ( English is not my first language so I need to think sometimes). One day, the boss sat at his seat and talked to me. I spoke with the same volume but the boss was kinda sit back instead of leaning in like he did. The machine coffee on our floor broken, he went down stair to get some and he asked me if I wanted something and he got me some yogurt. He asked me twice but last time was at his lunch time and I already had lunch so I did not want anything. I saw most of the time he faced me with his body faced me, his feet pointed at me, his legs were opened. Once, I put my Phone at the basket that put the post notes at my side and went to the restroom. When I went out, he told me my phone had messages, and I realized that he took my phone and put it in the basket but he did not say anything about touching my phone. He would always wait for me to get off work together. He touch me twice, once on my shoulder when he wanted to get out and slightly hit my chair, he put his hand on my shoulder and said sorry. The other time was on my arm. Whenever I looked at him, he would give me a smile. However, he did not ask me my number. There were more than 3 times he asked me what I was going to do after work or on the weekend. He did not say anything when I told him I had nothing to do. After Thanksgiving week, I gave him the Xmas card, he asked me what I was going to do that night. I already told him twice that I had a project to work on and need to be turn in the next morning, so I thought he forgot, I repeated that again, but he was like-” No, after you done the project tonight.” When walking with me, he walked next to me and with his arm touch my arm. However, again, he did not ask my number or say anything. Sometimes I would assume that this guy has eidetic memory just like Sheldon of the Big Bang Theory because he remember details of stories I told him, he remember exactly how long he had not seen me when I called sick, and that he is just one of a nice guy; but I do curious. And note that I am not much of a talker, I am kind quiet.

    • Jordan! · January 12, 2015

      Sorry for the delay in writing back! I hope this still has some use for you! My first observation is that you shouldn’t compare your boss’ body language to the co-worker in question; your boss exhibits classic “boss” body language by leaning back in the chair as you described. That’s classic “Alpha” body language that men and women tend to exhibit. But by all indications, from the way you describe his behavior, ESPECIALLY the touching and asking what you are doing after work, it seems like he is interested in you. He may not feel comfortable with flat out asking you out on a date because you two are in a work environment, and that could get him in quite a bit of trouble. It seems from what you’ve told me that he is playing it cautiously with you. The thing that would cement it for me is if he DOESN’T do this to any other co-workers. If he DOES act the same way with other co-workers, then he is just a friendly guy. People express themselves in vary different ways. If he DOESN’T act that way or extend those kinds of questions/favors to others, then he is clearly reserving them for you😉

  11. KimSamSun · January 10, 2015

    i just love this post and to me its been very informative.. there’s this guy in class that i never took notice off.. one time i saw him fixing his shoes on a chair across me.. when i looked up i saw him looking at me.. i felt butterflies in my stomach!! and since then i got curious about him.. there were times when i caught him looking at me.. but sometimes he would ignore me even he is in front of my table. sometimes he would approach me and make small talks about not so important stuffs and he does this after class when there are few students in the room.. one time he asked me if i will join in their class exchange gift and he said he picked a girl and he said she is very pretty and he already bought a gift for her.. i asked him who the girl is? he just smiled and didnt answer me.. im sure its not me because somebody already got my name.. the exchange gift didnt push through so i dont know who the girl is..

    He has group of friends in the class, and because of an activity i found out who his crush is.. almost everybody knows it except me.. sometimes i saw him staring at the girl and his friends would tease him about the her. i asked around and they said He never courted her.
    if his friends say that he likes her, why would he continually stand or walk pass my table.Sometimes he would tell jokes and look at me? Before he just pass in front of my table, sometimes he is behind me or he is at my side about 5 – 8 feet away.. sometimes he would just stand there. his back at me.. doing nothing.. almost everyday he would use the mirror on top of my table and fix his hair in front of me.. or he would use the other mirror from the table behind me.. just to be sure i look around first to check if the girl she had a crush on is around but she is not.. i notice him standing beside me, this time about 5 inches.. again his back at me..
    if his friends say he likes her, why is he always around? its kinda confusing..

    • Jordan! · January 11, 2015

      First off, sorry for taking so long to reply. Second of all, if this guy is under the age of 21, he most definitely has a crush on you. Just because he has a crush on you, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one on another girl as well, especially if he doesn’t think you feel the same way. If I were you, I would flat out ask him to out to some sort of social gathering. Nothing too intimidating, like out with a group of friends. Stick by his side and give him a lot of attention/compliments during this informal (date) and I would bet a lot of money he’ll pick up on your interest and return it😉

  12. KimSamSun · January 14, 2015

    yes you are right he is under 21. he has been more visible lately since the last time i sent this message to you. i caught him looking at me. one time he is smiling and another time he has a straight face, a few feet away from me. he still fix his hair on a mirror in front of me. and he never fails to approach me these days.. i will follow your advice and i will talk to him more often.. thanks a lot!! i hope you will have more articles about this kinds of topics.

  13. Rose · January 28, 2015

    Hi, there’s this guy who I’m not super close to since he’s a higher grade than me and we don’t share any classes. We got sorta close through after school practices in an elective that we share. He used to call my name and say hi whenever he saw me and would give me high fives all the time for no reason haha. He also used to purposely bump shoulders with me when walking past each other. And since our lockers are near each other’s, he would often go to his locker and get something whenever I was near the lockers. But recently, I was teasing him and asked why he always came to his locker..and I think he didn’t get that I was just kidding. So after that, he’s been really distant and doesn’t do any of the things that I pointed out earlier. Now, when we walk past each other in the halls, he just gives me a glance and keeps on walking. Once or twice I caught him quickly look away when I glanced at him.

    I can’t really tell if he likes me because there were also times when he seemed to not really care and times when he gives me really good signs, and when he does give positive signs, I can’t tell whether or not he’s just being nice and friendly or if he actually is attracted to me. My main problem at the moment, though, is to fix our current situation. He’s really distant and almost avoids me now. I think he might be embarrassed or he just doesn’t like me anymore. I’ not the type to be really social and strike up great conversations so it’s hard for me to start one with him. I know the solution is to take the initiative and start talking to him to make him feel more comfortable again but I stutter and get nervous whenever I start talking to him haha. Any suggestions? Thank you so much for reading all this!

  14. Curious · April 2, 2015

    Ok so I met this woman within the last several months that I see once or twice a month in a profess setting who I find very attractive and I am wondering if there is a romantic connection. It seems possible but I am not very sure and I would like to find out more about her as I know nothing except that she is single and lives alone in another town. This is not a whole lot to go on but I have to wonder and I can’t stop thinking about her. I have engaged her in conversations but in many ways I am reserved myself and I don’t want to seem too interested as I do not want to appear as though I am invading her space or coming on to her. She has given me some subtle impressions that I interest her. Her eyes do sparkle and her smile is bright. Recently when she walked into a room where I was after a period of not having seen her for many days she quickly scoped the room where myself and fellow co-workers were, she spotted me, then quickly looked the other way and sat down with her back toward me while engaging the other people in the room. I thought that to be strange and then not so strange. She seemed nervous. I was nervous and felt shunned however I was not sitting in closer proximity as the rest. Could that have been her own anxiety? I don’t know what to do but I do know I don’t want to be a fool so I am very leary of making any overt passes.

    Later that day she engaged the group of us with a personal story and she made eye contact with me that seemed to be genuine with sparkle but then again there were others she was addressing the same story to. I know I have a huge desire to know her better but want to nip it in the bud before my heart jumps out of my chest and I die in waiting. I am not sure that she knows my situation but I am single also and live alone. She may already know this about me through my coworkers. This could be just my imagination that she may be interested as well but I sure as hell have no clue for sure if she is or isn’t. This connection is very new so I am very nervous and just want to get this information so I can either move ahead or let it go. I have not be in a relationship for a long time by my own doing so this thing has really thrown me for a loop. You know the imagination is a powerful thing and in my case just snuck up behind me without my approval.

    Thanks for any profess advice on how to advance or stay put. Just want to do the more appropriate thing.

  15. Karx · April 20, 2015

    I’m confused of signals from a coworker. Not sure if she likes or hates me. She rarely answers my emails or text. If yes, she answers in very short text.
    Then when we met in person, I asked why she didn’t answer. She said she didn’t understand and told me to come to her desk to solve my request. She also finds faults and blames me.
    Another time we have a meeting together and situation was that I had to extend my stay but I wanted to back home and asked her to finish soon. Finally the meeting ends on time, I’m so excited but I could see the upset in her eyes when she said “so u can come back home as u want”. Don’t know why It made me feel guilty when seeing her sad face.
    It’s been a long time we didn’t met and when we suddenly met again, she was so excited and friendly asked me to come to her desk cause she sure I need her support. In fact i didn’t intend to ask her anything. Hic. Also I couldn’t come to her cause of busy. So next day I chat and ask her out for lunch to say thank u but she didn’t reply.
    Recently we met when I’m with my team members. I catch that she staring at me twice and keep eye contact for a while when I look at her but she doesn’t smile. She looks so cold but calls my name from a distance to ask me come close to her desk. She looks annoyed when I come close and talks to her but she still helps me. I try to be friendly and smile with her everytime we meet cause I want to get closer to her but she never smiles back. She’s so weired, hot and cold all the time. Can u advise on this? What should I treat her?
    Thanks a lot.

  16. Mark · April 26, 2015

    Thank you for the insightful information. 🙂 In my situation, there’s this guy at work, who on a couple occasions, for one reason or another while walking in front of me, stops to tie his shoe or gather something. On these occasions, I end up meeting up with him, but no words are ever exchanged. In addition, I noticed that when he has walked by my office on several occasions, he looks at me but never seems to smile or anything. As a gay may, I don’t know if he wants to beat me up or show me he that he likes me. Personally, I’m very much to myself, but am unsure what, if anything, this behavior means. Your insight would be so appreciated. Thank you.

  17. C.C · April 30, 2015

    I gotta say, I love this! But, ive reached a strange problem. Ive liked this guy for 2 years now. We talked some and he never showed any of the signs listed (Or maybe I just wasnt paying attention). So, me and my super shy self got the guts to write out a confession…well, I never really asked him out persay, but I did get the point across that I liked him. After that, we stilled talked here and there, but it seemded akward with him not mentioning it. He never told me directly how he felt twords me.
    So, after a year of being ‘eh im not so gaga like that’ about him (Meaning I want super heads over heels but I still held some feelings) ive noticed that when we talk, he would look into my eyes, without breaking contact, and ive check the feet, the poses- he even stares at me when im not looking (Thats one that ive noticed even before the letter).
    So with all these little signs here and there, what is going on? Please help, because sometimes I think its a lost casue that im wasting over. What do you think hes trying to get across to me? (Im not too sure if hes shy or something because hes pretty loud with his friends)

  18. Mark · May 20, 2015

    So I kind of like this girl in my school and she is younger than I am but whenever I see her and she sees me she looks at me as she walks by and I smile and say hi sometimes but I dont around her friends because it would kind of freak me out to do so. When we are on the bus before she gets off she usually looks back at me and I wave. She waves most of the time and smiles but sometimes she doesnt as if she is giving me the cold side to make me want more. When I get on the bus her earphones are out but after I walk by and sit down she puts them in her ears. She also sits near the edge until I get on then she moves closer to the window. I am a couple years older than her so I dont know if she feels intimidated or not because of my age and I am also a really tall buff guy and she is kind of short (well to me any way). Thank you for this guide it has helped alot but I still dont know if I should try to go for her yet. Can you please let me know what you think of this before I go and ruin my chances completely.

  19. Carly · July 24, 2015

    There is this guy in my class he always touches me in the most random places, pushes me gently, and stands really close to me and talks to me a lot. Lately, I have been seeing him doing this to a ton of other girls too. What does this mean?

  20. shannon · August 14, 2015

    I been at my new job for like 2 months now and I’m attracted to one of my co-workers.When we first saw each other I feel like it was a connection.Now we’ll acknowledge each and do a little small talk.I don’t know if it’s my attraction to me or what but I feel like he be looking at me . I’m trying to catch him in the act without me talking to another coworker,I caught him looking while me and my coworker was talking.And whenever we’re around each other I feel a vibe or something,I’m not sure if it’s just me.What do you think? Should I talk to him more to get to know him and see if he’s interested?

  21. Salina · September 23, 2015

    Hi I’ve secretly had a crush on this guy on and off for 3 years now, he is my daughters old prep teacher. Firstly is this wrong? I’ve had people tell me recently to go for it! I think he’s been flirting with me? I’m all new to this…
    Every time he sees me he smiles with this huge dorky grin , like his whole face lights up and he always raises his eyebrows at me, other people are even noticing it! Lol.
    We have small conversations when I see him at school, but nothing too personal, I’d like to get to know him but every time I try to talk to him, I get rediculously nervous and nothing really comes out! I don’t want to throw myself out there if he’s not interested? And I definitely don’t want to cross any boundaries he may be uncomfortable with…
    Please HELP,!!!

  22. EA · October 8, 2015

    There’s this boy in my class and bus. I noticed that he turns in an angle towards me and he keeps staring at me or giving me quick glances. He also smiles everytime I talk to him. Am not attracted to him at all and he’s my brother’s best friend so that will be weird. I asked him today why he keeps staring at me and he got mad and ignored me the rest of the day. Am annoyed with him because I asked him a simple question and am the one who’s suppose to be mad. What does this me.

  23. jnaw · October 21, 2015

    So there’s this man I see once a week…he comes to my workplace, which on this day and time is at a park (I work w/kids), and he picks up his sons on this day… Anyway, I started to notice him in the last month…well, actually, I noticed him directly. I’m usually pretty far away from him, but the one time I actually was within 2-3′ of him…I dunno…that’s when I noticed him (probably the 2nd time I saw him). Anyway…I notice more and more he looks at me, faces his body toward me, and even smiles at me, but I can never tell if that’s just because I work there… I’ve definitely noticed him looking at me sometimes several times in a row, he’s also done that whole look away as soon as I look at him thing. He seems like a friendly fellow too…just in general, as I see him speaking w/many dif people (parents), when he comes once a week…he stays there near us for his kids soccer practice btw, so we’re around each other in the same “space” for about 30 mins. Now, he doesn’t look to me etc. the whole time…today he def smiled to me, looked at me several times, quickly looked away when I looked to him…but he also had his back to me for half the time, as I moved locations, and he was watching his son playing soccer and also got into a convo w/another parent… I’m kind of a shy person btw…he seems very friendly. I’m waay to shy to go speak to him…I’d speak w/him if he came and talked to me though. IDK I guess I’m just trying to figure out if he’s interested, or if it’s mostly me feeling very attracted to him, and hoping he feels the same…haha I can def say though, I feel something between us; two people who have never really said a word to a each other. Any advice or something specific to do and or look for?? Thank you!

  24. bosco · November 5, 2015

    so there’s this girl I’ve had a crush on for a little over a year now. we kind of went out for a bit around 5 ish months ago but she broke things up for her reasons I don’t want to share here (they’re not that important anyway). lately after I broke up with another person she’s started to make gestures at me that she made before, and all of the gestures in this article she makes at me. the only thing is that we’re both always in crowded social settings and she could just naturally be like this to other people (she’s a very bubbly and energetic person) but I don’t pay that kind of attention to her. she’s sort of picked up on the mimicking thing but it could be conscious since my mannerisms are not that of a normal teenage boy (but at the same time why would she consciously mimic me anyway?). i’ve been told by many people that i’m a hard person to read (including her, not on body language, but still) but she could be worse. not to mention she occasionally glances at my lips whenever we speak and is almost always smiling and laughing at whatever i say, is constantly jittery but still moves in a confined area near me whenever we talk. we’re both under 18 fyi. idk how to approach this or what to do (i want us to go back to what we had before if you catch my drift). help.

  25. Tora-kun · November 7, 2015

    Cool article, ive been trying to learn a bit on body language
    Im an girly tomboy teenager with a definite crush for…2-3 ish years now. At first i never noticed him but i did end up becoming interested in him since we sorta go the same bus home…
    Pfft, i am sure more interested in him then he is with me since i do the staring and facing the direction… but then again i havent taken any oppotunity to talk with him… which means i cant really be looking at him when he is looking at me?
    I would totally do the tips to test my friends but im wayy too shy to do that to my crush o//x//o

  26. RYE · March 3

    Hi! Just found your article and found that it helped a lot. I know it’s been years since anyone commented on here, hope you are still responding to questions.

    I work with this guy, who likes to stare at me in the eye when he talks to me. As far as I know I don’t see him doing this to any of our other co-workers. When we talk there’s definitely some signs of sparks, our conversations fun and we end up laughing together always. And the body language seem to indicate that he is interested but I am still not sure. Could he just be a really friendly guy? Over the course of a few months, we started working more together so I noticed he opened up more.

    He seemed to like to lean into me when we talk, but at the same time keep a bit of distance as to not be in my face. I take it as respecting my boundaries, but there are times when I would ask him to pass me something his hand would touch mine while in the process of passing me what I was asking for – whether it be a pencil or something as small as a nail. HIs fingers would touch mine.

    I notice little things too – like when I had my coffee cup at one table next to his, and after I had taken a drink I moved it away to another table, then shortly after he would also take a drink and move his cup next to mine. Is this something?

    One day while he was driving, all of us in the car were having a conversation. I leaned towards the front in between the seats to talk and when I do, he would lean back so that his shoulder touched my arm. And when he said something that pleased me immensely, I hugged him from the back because I was sitting at the front seat. He jumped and said “DON”T TOUCH ME!” It stung a little even though I knew he was concentrating on driving and I was distracting him, so I pulled back completely, shrank back into my shell as if stung. I think he noticed it, because the next day he was all fingers when we were working together, touching my hand while passing me things, his feet touch mine under our desks and he left it next to mine (we don’t wear shoes in our office), and being especially attentive to what I was saying and staring into my eyes when I talk.

    Am I on to something here? Or just notice foolish things that is just in my own mind. Any advice would be very helpful.

    Thanks in advance.

  27. Maya · March 18

    Hi! This question relates to two women. Hopefully you’re still responding to this thread. Background info: I referee indoor mixed soccer and she plays in a team that I referee once a week. I’m completely confused by her behaviour. A month or so after meeting (3 months ago), I was invited for drinks with their team. At drinks she asked probing questions about ‘my type’, made a point of saying she was single, and moved closer to where I was seated at the table. All good signs in my opinion. There is also a heavy degree of banter between us, constantly teasing me and smiling etc… She also appears to seek validation when she does something great during a game – immediately looks at me after firing off a great pass etc… She also goes out of her way to apologise when she behaves badly during games, even sent a personal message to my fb telling me, verbatim, “Hey I wanted to catch you at the end and apologise for my outburst tonight, I am sorry I shouldn’t have been so hot headed and it wasn’t directed at you at all. Hope you know that.” I responded with “It’s all good. these things happen. Have a nice week”. She responded with “Okay good, promise you will still be my friend” (complete with a blush emoticon). I agreed. We became fb friends (I friend requested). Since the fb request the banter continued for some weeks, she still went out of her way to head in my direction, continued to seek validation, but her entire court demeanor had changed. She was like a different person: well behaved, meek, not herself. So I sent her a private message saying that I felt I may have overstepped a boundary with the fb request. Also, that although she sometimes took aggression to extremes, I liked the person that she was and could she please go back to being herself. No response at all. The next time I saw her she demonstrated what could only be described as cold indifference. I was less than impressed and the subsequent week I virtually ignored her existence. The next week (3 weeks ago) I tried to do the same, but she went out of her way to ask me a question, an administration question that should have been directed to the guy working administration that evening. I answered but said very little else. I believe I was very clear that I had little time for her. The following week she virtually skips in my direction, acting as if nothing was wrong. I called her out on her cold indifference from two weeks earlier and she mumbled something about ‘trying to change my behaviour’. She never messages me first (aside from the initial apology message) and when she returns messages they’re very brief (never less than two sentences, but never more than three sentences). What do you think? I’m completely confused!

  28. Just A Girl · August 7

    Hey, I need help. I’m in six grade, and for my country, there is no seven grade and beyond. After six grade, we will need to graduate and look for a secondary school (13 years old). We might go our separate ways, but I want to keep in contact with him. Basically I’m 12 now, and time is approaching the end of the year. I really want to get close to this new crush whom I have recently liked. I really have trouble knowing if he likes me, it’s kind of confusing, ya know?

    So he sits at the back of the class while I’m in the first row (probably because my teacher wants to see if I’m paying attention in class -_-), and just because I was in the first row, I was made the row leader (the person who collects homework and shitz from the whole row). And there was this one time my teacher gave very confusing instructions to the class regarding 3 math papers. It was really confusing, I swear. And I was responsible in collecting the papers, but I payed attention, so I clearly knew what my teacher was saying. But as I approached him, he asked me which paper is supposed to be handed in to who (there were a few other row leaders), and he just kind of moved in to me, asking me in this really low tone: Which one? (his voice was really soft) and I don’t know what to do, I just kind of moved in too, but then the teacher shouted because we were running out of time and we needed to hand up the paper as fast as possible. So I just skipped away and collected his.

    Then there’s this other day when the class was walking towards the computer lab, and he was with his close friends walking behind me and my besties. They made a really loud commotion (which, the teacher didn’t care at all). So I turned around to look at him, and one of his friends pushed him forward next to me and my crush was like: Stop it.
    Then they moved away. I was just really confused.

    I always catch him staring at me, and I did want to try holding eye contact. However, as a really shy person, I can’t seem to be able to look into the eyes of any guy, regardless if they’re my crush or not.

    He touches me sometime, and when he does, I get kind of stiff because I’m shocked, but then I will touch him (just a little), and it’s like we’re touching each other repeatedly.

    There’s still other times when his friends teased him, and one time when I had my face next to his (I didn’t even know), one of his close friend came and was like: Lol. And his close friend gave me a face that seems like teasing me, it was awkward. But for all I know, I haven’t told anyone about my crush, except the closest one of my besties. She didn’t told anyone though, but I really want to know if he likes me.

    Please reply as soon as possible🙂

  29. Priscilla Garcia · August 19

    There’s this guy named Zack who I’ve known for about 6 yrs, now we are 17 going into our senior year.
    1. He always stares at me
    2. I’ve heard him talk about me with his friends before
    3. When I go to the mall with my friends I see him there & there’s this gas station near my house and sometimes ill see him there too
    4. He mimicks my body language
    5. He tries to get my attention by raising his voice
    6. About the object interference sometimes he will stand near my seat talking to someone else and I will have to say excuse me
    7. He talks about my fav teacher and class
    8. Recently last Halloween he dressed up as a wizard and me I’m a big Harry potter fan lol
    All these signs should mean he likes me right?
    But recently I’ve worked up the courage to finally ask him out this past Valentine’s Day.
    This is what happened during our convo. He stood close to me, we gave each really intense eye contact for a while, then before I finished saying what I had to say he started gazing at my lips. What I asked him was if he was seeing anyone. He said he was “talking” with some girl than said sorry. So respectfully I said its ok and have a nice day. I was really upset, so I went to my first class late which me and Zack have together. So my really close friend came in and “helped” me carry my books. So I sit in the front of the class and he sits in the back. I didn’t wanna look at him but I did and my friend did too before she left. He was looking right at me, he was smiling and blushing. Me and my friend talked about it later on and we were both confused. Before this happened tho I talked with one of Zacks close friends before I asked him out and he told me that its not a good time to ask him out. Ok so, then towards the last day of school I was talking to another friend of mine before class started and he was standing a bit far behind my friend in class looking at me as if he wanted to tell me something important but I was too mad to talk to him… And recently about a week ago I saw him at the mall with his friends right across from the store I was with my friend and he was looking at me again and smiling…. what does this all mean? Will we ever get a chance to be together….?

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